Perfectionism

Recently, I've been recording a lot of things. I'm currently in the middle of recording an EP with my band, and I also record videos for this blog. One thing that has really thrown me is the fact that I have to get it perfect, or I hate it.

In a few of my videos, I make mistakes. I know that once that happens I should carry on like it was nothing, but I can't. I have no definite answer why, but I have a few ideas. One of them is that as I was growing up listening to my favourite bands, there are never mistakes on the tracks. I think this is mentally conditioned me to think that if I make a mistake, it's not right (which is completely untrue).

Another idea is a kind of ripple. I don't know about anyone else, but when I make a mistake in a high pressure situation, my brain goes into overdrive and I keep thinking 'You made a mistake', 'You went wrong', 'You played an F#, you f***ing idiot!'. This then continues making me loose focus on what I'm playing, thus leading to many more mistakes. It's an on going thing.

While recording the EP, I've taken at least 15 attempts at a 16 bar solo. After playing for almost 14 years, you'd think this would be a piece of cake. I thought it would be easy, to go into a studio, record a few licks, then listen to the playback and it sound like Metallica. I was wrong. It's incredibly difficult for me. Everyone else was saying each take was fine, but there was always a bit of unwanted string noise, or a bend wasn't perfect. This really bugs me, meaning I'd delete the take and go again. 

I've been taught a really good way to get over this. A college tutor told me to do 3 takes, and then choose the best one. I think this is a great idea, because that way you have set a limit and you have a kind of deadline. I tried working to this discipline, but again, each take had something wrong with it, and it bugged me.

This is different in a live situation though. I remember our bands second gig. We played a small festival type party for someone's birthday. We we're up on stage, and there was about 200 drunk teenagers watching. It came to one part in a song where everything cut out apart from me and the vocals. What happened next, I blame on Jack Daniels. My fingers stopped working right when I needed them the most. Nothing but me hitting every wrong note ever played in a succession, and the vocalist. The notes were that wrong, our vocalist actually stopped and started laughing. But it was okay, because I was laughing too. I just made a joke out of it, fell onto my knees and started playing some country licks for a laugh. Even the audience we're laughing, but I didn't care. A mix between whiskey and laughter created a bubble around me. Then, we finished the set, got off stage, and got our party on.I think the reason I could laugh it off was because it was live. I knew there was no going back, I knew there was no second take, so I just went with it.

 Why I can't do this in a studio situation I will never know, but I'm going to work it into my practice regime to film myself playing every time and get used to being recorded and allowing a certain number of errors. After some time, I'm sure I'll learn to disregard any mistakes.